Silver Story: Meet Mr. Bob!

Mr. Bob

"Remember to keep an open mind; there's always a perspective that you are not aware of that will teach you something.

Have you ever spoken to someone who is a wise and reflective listener? Bob is one of those rare persons. Bob is a regular participant in our Graceland Center programs. This month he shares his perspective on life, on being an observant listener, and always gleaning wisdom from everyday situations.

Bob was the son of a salesperson so he moved to a new city about every 4-5 years, which made navigating his schoolwork difficult since every new school taught math, English, and other subjects differently. His dad was busy with his job and his mom had her hands full raising 5 boys and two girls. Bob decided when the schoolwork was too confusing and difficult for him, he would look for ways to adapt what he had to learn to how he understood things. After high school, he became a carpenter apprentice under a foreman who taught Bob HOW to think about solving problems. Bob said when he did not understand something, this foreman told him to figure it out and explain it to the foreman the next day! So that is exactly what he did, finding ways to understand the math involved with carpentry, how to fit pieces together, and how to take time to do the work with quality and functionality. This foreman also would quote funny sayings from commercials, bringing humor to the workplace, which Bob thought helped everyone work better together. Bob said most of the young men at the time did not want to listen to the stories of the “old timers” on the job. However, Bob found their stories to be very instructive as there was always a lesson to be learned from their experiences. He also kept alert for ways to learn when given a task. He found a book of synonyms to help him write proposals that ended up being better than his counterparts who had gone to college: “It’s all in looking for ways to improve and to do your best.”

While on his way to becoming a journeyman carpenter, Bob won 4th place in a state competition to build a toolbox. At that time, there were very few electric tools, so every tool was used manually and needed to be maintained with care. Bob said he got more points for his toolbox because, rather than being made out of expensive wood or elaborately decorated, his design was simple and very practical with attention to detail in functionality. Bob said on one construction job, he learned a very important lesson: to always be willing to listen to another perspective. While pouring the concrete walls on a basement project, Bob said a young boy would come around and ask a lot of questions, which, after a while, got annoying to the crew. One day, they placed a very important tool “someplace safe” up on a beam while they were working. When it came to the crucial point in the project where this tool was needed, it was nowhere to be found. Of course, at this same time, the young boy was trying to get the team’s attention. Under stress to get the tool quickly, the crew was irritated with the child. Finally, the child asked, “Are you guys looking for a tool?” The crew looked up and said, “YES!” The young boy, from his perspective, could see the tool on the beam where the crew had placed it but the crew could not see it. Finding the tool promptly was critical for the proper setting of the construction materials, so the little boy saved the crew from losing valuable materials and time. Bob said that taught him that no matter what, he needed to keep his mind open to other people’s thoughts because they would always have a different perspective than he would and that he could learn something of value from others.

One of Bob’s best accomplishments came with his tenure as a Boy Scout leader and Scout Master. Doing scout activities with his son brought him great joy. One of the highlights of this time was climbing a mountain with the troops in New Mexico. Bob said he and a couple of the other leaders needed to be medically certified in case something happened to one of the scouts. The hike was quite strenuous for everyone, Bob says, but the view of all the other mountains and below was breathtaking. They encountered several challenges during the excursion, including a long night of freezing rain, hail, and strong winds on the mountaintop that they were not equipped to handle. Bob noted it was a great way to teach survival skills to the boys; how thinking through a problem could mean the difference between life and death in some circumstances. It helped the boys to learn to stop and think and realize that it is their brain that will make the difference in how they make all life choices, especially critical ones.

Some of the life challenges Bob has worked through include the huge impact economics has on the trades and being able to sustain a household with such volatile wages at times. For him, learning to accept the challenge and realize denial is not helpful. “It is what it is” is the best way to work through the problems that come up in life.

Bob has collected quotes for a long time. He feels there is much wisdom to be gleaned from so many people. One of his favorite quotes is, “I’ll do the best I can with what I have and I will keep doing it to the end.” from Abraham Lincoln. He thinks Popeye had some wise words, too, with “I am what I am”! Bob reads some quotes every day and then looks for how to apply its principles to everyday life. He summarized his habit of wisdom-seeking with a quote from his foreman “Kid, use your head for something other than a hat rack!”.

In regards to life changes with aging, Bob again is a realist. He says when people complain that their friends have moved or passed away, he replies, “Make new ones!” In regards to physical problems or disabilities, he recommends people realize that, no matter what, while they are alive on this earth, that God has a purpose for them.

Thanks to Bob for sharing his stories, wisdom and sense of humor with us every week at Graceland Center!